As I Found The Source...

Possibly the best compliment I've ever received

2009-08-24T16:15:00.000-07:00

My brother texted me this today: "In training we shared our heros. Everyone was pretty emotional. I shared you."

When I heard her sing "I Want You" by Bob Dylan in the shower,

2009-07-20T10:08:00.000-07:00

something changed

Thoreau

2009-06-25T08:34:00.000-07:00

"Every spirit builds itself a house, and beyond it's house a world, and beyond it's world a heaven. Know then that the world exists for you. For you is the phenomenon perfect. What we are, that only we can see...build therefore your own world. As fast as you conform your life to the pure idea in your mind, that will unfold its great proportions."

"When any scorn your love, let them see plainly that you serve not them but another. If these bars are up, go your way to other of God's pastures."

Florence: Siete bella!

2009-06-20T03:39:00.000-07:00

Most definitely a city of love. It's thick in the air. I can see it in the way the lovers kiss in the park without lust or violence. The way people steadily ride their bicycles. The tone in the voices of the women. Random smiles are returned. The Duomo is incredibly intricate. An architectual act of passion. No, I don't think there's anything like this in the U.S. But it's not something I can convey to you. You would just have to come here yourself.

I could get used to this very easily.

Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm still Jesus from the block

2009-06-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

Went to the Vatican Museum today. A lot of art depicting violent battles, a sad skinny Christ and popes with smiles with everyone from paupers to kings bowing before them. Is this the essence of Catholicism? Lots of extravagance, lots of money spent here. I couldn't help but wonder where this power came from...did the Crusades have something to do with it? Possibly. Remember those fashionable lanyards from about 7 years ago: What Would Jesus Do? I think that the Catholic church should have pondered this a bit more over the years. Would Christ approve of these castle-like monuments being built in his name? I'm not denouncing Catholicism altogether. I think Mother Theresa is a great example Catholicism at it's best. Also, on the streets just outside of the Vatican City I saw a monk kneeling down and talking to a homeless youth. This is how I like to see Catholicism. And while I'm on the topic, does anyone else think Pope Benidict XVI looks evil as hell? May God bless us all.

Letter to Dublin

2009-06-11T07:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Dublin,
I've seen your pubs, where the stout is your blood. The music of the old harp rings far and wide like your rolling green mountains. Voices howl with humility and smiles, a spirit that can't be defeated saying "We're all in it together, come what may..."
And I've seen your clubs, where you paint a mask on and sell yourself as bait and place yourself on the hook. You learn and obediently recite the songs from the falling empire. Can you not realize you're quieting your own heart? I can see this happening, don't you?
Only because you've charmed me so greatly I write this letter to you. Turn back now! Avoid the stagnant water and recognize it's effect on the fight that's born into you. Let the mandolins and flutes sing your joy and sadness.
Thanks for everything.

Jeremiah

The Italian Girl

2009-06-05T12:02:00.000-07:00

She sank into my shoulder like red wine

Calm and desperate

As the last light of the sunset

Both children, both parents

Cradling one another

Her ancient eyes dangling

And her face was long

The room danced around us

Day 1 in Londontown

2009-06-03T00:47:00.000-07:00

I was up all night the day before yesterday traveling so my plan was to just find my room and take a little walk around the neighborhood. It turned into a pretty elaborate walking tour of London!

Picadilly is the major tourist center of London; it's like a mini Times Square. From there, I wandered into Trafalgar Square, a big area with old buildings, statues, fountains and pigeons. By this point, I was in awe....the black taxis, the double decker buses, the cops with funny hats...it was all here! It's cool to see buildings several hundred years old or more standing alongside modern businesses. In the square was the National Gallery museum, which was free (all major British museums are) They had a lot of spectacular paintings but the Van Gough gallery was unreal. To see his sunflower painting, chair painting and the one I couldn't drag myself away from, his cypress tree painting. Usually, I just get chills for an instant, but this was a wave of chills! The colors are so brilliant in person.

From here, I wandered into St. James park. It was huge, with complimentary lawn chairs and a lake. I sat down with a sandwich and enjoyed listening to the English accents around me...can't get enough of it! I walked around and tried to strike up conversations with the girls of London. They acted much like girls do in most major cities. I noticed that London girls had this certain look in their eye that I couldn't explain. Kind of like there was still a little girl inside them saying, No, mummy, I want the PINK one!! Miss Piggy-like, almost. But no disrespect they were very polite. And so was everyone else I talked to. Definitely puts San Francisco to shame in the way of friendliness.

There is a large middle eastern population here and the segregation (or seperation?) was apparant already. In the National Gallery, there was one class of white children with one tour and another class of brown children with another. I also saw a protest group of brown people...something about food trade..I'll post the pics when I get home.

I saw Big Ben in the distance, and wandered over there. It wasn't as big as I thought it would be! But it is quite elaborate in person. Pictures don't do it justice. The house of Parlament (I think it's called?) looks amazing from behind. Remember the explosion scene in V for Vendetta? Next to it was another park, much smaller than the first. I saw a girl dressed in earth tones and a sun dress so I approached her and struck up a conversation. It felt good after all those dodgy Brits in the other park. She was from Canada and was just here for a day before leaving to do some non-profit stuff in Bali, India. We shared some music and exchanged Facebooks and I went on my way.

I grabbed some groceries and wandered through the West End (Theatre productions and gay district) until I reached my hostel. Then I made friends with 4 girls across the hallway and the Brazilian father and son I was rooming with. What a day! I was beat! As dusk hit, I went to bed.

Now, it's early in day 2, I'm well rested and London is my oyster.

This is stupendous.

Off I go

2009-05-31T22:04:00.000-07:00

into the wild blue! I don't know if I'll update this thing on my trip. I may choose to write in a journal or not to write at all. Que sera, sera...carpe diem...and the like...a day of flying ahead of me tomorrow. woo hooo!

Excerpts from The Book of the Way (Translator unknown)

2009-05-30T13:34:00.000-07:00

"Success is as dangerous as failure.

Hope is as hollow as fear.

What does it mean that success is

as dangerous as failure?

Whether you go up the ladder or down it,

your position is shaky.

When you stand with your two feet

on the ground,

you will always keep your balance.

What does it mean that hope is

as hollow as fear?

Hope and fear are both phantoms.

That arise from thinking of the self.

When we don't see the self as self,

what do we have to fear?

See the world as your self.

Have faith in the way things are.

Love the world as your self;

then you can care for all things."

"When they lose their sense of awe,

people turn to religion.

When they no longer trust themselves,

they begin to depend on authority."

"Men are born soft and supple;

dead, they are stiff and hard.

Plants are born tender and pliant;

dead, they are brittle and dry.

Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible

is a disciple of death.

Whoever is soft and yielding

is a disciple of life."

Planning, Packing and Goodbyes

2009-05-29T17:40:00.000-07:00

Whole lot of that. With much more to come. Balance is necessary. Got some last minute supplies and a lot of books I'm excited about. Half Price Books..wow...they weren't kidding about the half price thing!

This trip feels crazy and absolutely right.

last night's show

2009-05-24T10:50:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! My band played our first gig at a bar. We've gotten compliments before but nothing like this. It was such a success. We played three sets and by the third one the alcohol was flowing freely and things were getting real comfortable. We played some songs we haven't touched in months. I was even convinced to sing a song: "Mexican Girl" by Jackie Greene. People were dancing and singing along often. Best of all, I was able to conquer the anxiety of performing almost completely and just have a good time.

I remember when I first got into music...going to a show and being completely awestruck by a performance. And then, I would decide in myself that I wanted to give something back. So I'd work up the nerve to approach the artist/s and just tell them how awesome they were and thank them. It is so surreal being on the other side of that interaction now! I almost didn't know how to handle all the praise we were getting. These people that approached me had that same amazed, humble disposition that I had years ago. Can't wait for Shelley's next week.

Lemon Meringue Pie

2009-05-22T10:42:00.000-07:00

Lately, my life has been this wonderful ride, part circumstance part planned, and it's about to really take off. Life gave me what you could call lemons (being laid off) and I made the tastiest lemon meringue pie I could think of. The trip ahead of me is scary in all the right ways. Not the "don't want to go alone at night" scary but the "practiced and prepared and about to take the stage" scary.

Speaking of that kind of scary, I told a couple people about my band's Shelly's show and now it seems everyone and their friends are coming. I hope they aren't expecting spectacularity! We are playing a bar in Hayward tomorrow that no one knows about to warm up.

Things are happening...life is a daring adventure...

Little Wing

2009-05-21T20:47:00.001-07:00

This is the first thing my bands recorded that I'm proud of. It's a live take. Please tell me what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hF76fIg-zPA

(Yes, I guess our band IS called the Stoned Toads even though it's harder to say than my choice, the suddle, PG Stone Toads. But I'm not the choicer. aha)

Rights of passage

2009-05-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

In The Power of Myth, Joseph Campbell discusses how many ancient societies have ceremonies (sometimes grueling) to signify that an individual has reached adulthood and that, largely, this is absent in modern society.

Yesterday, I went to my friend Amy's Berkeley graduation party. As the day wore into the night, the lines between the generations were significantly blurred. We taught Amy's parents and their friends how to hit a hookah and how to play beer pong. It was really a blast for everyone.

To me, the moving trip with my best friend's dad and last night's party was my own right of passage. I've already began to embrace certain things that adulthood entails and this growing up thing couldn't have happened much more naturally. I'm ready for the next stage which is already under way.

Life is good

the last two days

2009-05-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

I left at 4:00 am Thursday to help my best friend Will's wife move from Ventura up to the bay. It was me and Will's dad. It was interesting interacting with him me being an adult now, especially since he was like my dad growing up (Will and I were joined at the hip for many years). We took a detour to Pinnacle National Monument, which is the site of some really cool seismic action. Giant shards of rock pushed up into the sky slowly over the years. We were looking at a sign about the endangered California Condor and saying how cool it would be to see one. Just then, we hear this flapping of wings and we see a tree with about 20 of these birds! They were so awesome. Wing span of about 9 feet. They were just waking up and starting their day. I felt pretty honored to see it...

We got to Stef's that afternoon and helped pack up. One of Stef's friends, a girl named Courtney, was there. She had kind of a catty Mona Lisa look, hair parted down the side of her face and long fingernails. She is a straight edge insomniac working to help recovering addicts who likes to garden. We had some great one-on-one conversations. I like her...can you tell?

The next day, we loaded everything in the Penske and me, Stef and Will's dad drove to the bay in our respective vehicles. 101 ocean view...sunset..."1979" by the Smashing Pumpkins. It was so good to leave the bay for a while. I love helping Will, Stef and Will's family because of the bond we have. It won't be long until I'm Uncle Jeremy! :) Will is going to be in Kuwait when Stef is due and I've made it as clear as possible that I'll do anything I can to help out. She just left all her friends to move up here to live with the in-laws, a bold move! Feeling grateful to have these people in my life.

Rooftop

2009-05-13T16:03:00.001-07:00

Testing my new blog app on my iPhone from my roof (making sure it'll work for my trip) It's great up here!

cage clarity

2009-05-12T01:27:00.000-07:00

many have tried to cage clarity

and failed

it's forms are infinite!

those who claim to

walk with it

or even hold it captive

will have to face

it's many faces

and the most divine books

are just sparkles

in the raging sun

still, let them be read

but no more than

the clouds

by children in green meadows

and the most powerful people

are just products of discomfort

in their own marketplace

still, let them be crowned

but no more than

the sounds

by drums in golden rings

and the most rigid institutions

are just catalysts for the greatest change

in the ashes of it's passing past

still, let them hold their minds

but no more than

the magic

by mystery in black nights

House on MacKenzie Hill

2009-05-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

A city official parked his sun faded black car and took a sip of cheap coffee before approaching the door of the most curious property on the block. He rang the doorbell a few times only to notice he couldn't hear it inside the house. It must be broken, he thought. After one solid rap on the door a man appeared. The lines on his face seemed to tell an elaborate story. His brown and grey hair was pulled into a pony tail, but some hairs kinked out like branches of a tree on a cliff's edge.

“Hello, sir. There's been a domestic report from your neighbor of an unkempt lawn. I've been told that you've been warned about it and were aware financial actions would be taken. May I ask why you haven't cut it yet?” said the city official. It was a reasonable question, he thought, amidst a lawn of jungle proportion.

The man didn't answer him for a long moment and before the official spoke up again, the man began, “Well...only because you've asked like you did, I'll tell you. I haven't had anyone to...love for about 22 years. No tender moments. 22 years. And for about 21 of those years, like a fool, I was out here, mowing this lawn 30 minutes every week without even thinking twice about it. Anyways, one evening, I caught a beautiful sunset. And watching that day turn to night, like so many before it, something suddenly became clear: I'd wasted a lot of time. So I promised myself I wouldn't mow the lawn, or do anything else that might deter me from what I'm looking for. I may not know what it is just yet, but I know what it isn't.” The man paused and started again, louder now: “ And besides, what would I gain from turning the fruit of the earth into dead meat?” The man shot the official with a pair of eyes glowing with an unclear light.

The official thought about acting like he understood what the man was talking about, but thought better to ignore it altogether. “According to City Law 2495,” he relayed, “your lawn must be under 2 feet tall, and it is of no argument that this is far beyond 2 feet. Because you've already been warned, I have no choice but to give you this ticket. The amount can be mailed to the address on the envelope, made out to the city, check only please. Have a nice day.” He had tried to be as brief and uncordial as possible, still shaken by the man's unapologetic oddness. He made his way down the path between the overwhelming fields.

He heard the man call again, “Hey...” His voice had taken on a more open-ended tone.

The official turned half way around and murmured, “mmhmm?”

“What do you think of real life and the real world?”

“What was that?” The official heard him but, again, hadn't the slightest clue what he was talking about. But now that his obligations were met, he allowed himself to be a bit intrigued.

“Well,” the man went on, “I always hear people talking about it don't you? They say 'that's not the real world' or 'this is not real life.' But no one ever says what the real life is. Do you happen to know what it is?”

The official thought for a moment. He hadn't been in this frame of mind since his college course in Philosophy. “Well, I suppose everyone has their own idea of what the real world is but no one really knows. It's different for everyone, I guess.”

The man felt an intractable urge to capitalize on the official's new uncertainty. “So I want to know then, why can't growing my lawn be my real world? My real life?”

The official replied, “It can. And me giving you this citation is mine.”

The man felt as he'd been cut down to size and the official felt he had found ground to stand on. No “have a nice day” this time. The man closed his door before an exchange could occur and the official drove off to his next stop.

The space between a period and exclamation mark

2009-05-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

There should be another punctuation mark, I think. When texting or writing a letter sometimes I look at the sentence I wrote and think "Well, if I just end this sentence with a period, I'll seem underwhelmed. And if I end it with an exclamation mark, I'll appear loony to be so excited for such a thing." Don't you agree?

Saul Williams

2009-05-09T21:05:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite quotes from the book ,Said the Shotgun to the Head. More than brilliant. It may affirm all you've ever known, that you didn't know yet...

"Have you ever lost yourself in a kiss? I mean pure psychedelic inebriation. Not just lustful petting but transcendental metamorphosis when you became aware that the greatness of this being was breathing into you. Licking the sides and corners of your mouth, like sealing a thousand fleshy envelopes filled with the essence of your passionate being and then opened by the same mouth and delivered back to you, over and over again- the first kiss of the rest of your life. A kiss that confirms that the universe is alligned, that the world's greatest resource is love, and maybe even that God is a woman."

"Come see how death is a myth. There are no deceased only deceived. Death only awaits those who believed"

"I have committed myself to adultery. I will only sleep with GOD's wife. Our affair is no secret; he gets his thrills from watching us. I cannot tear myself from her eyes. I am, indeed, her pupil and no longer fear the unseen"

"I am like a survivor of the flood walking through the streets drenched with God suprised that all of the drowned victims and still walking and talking"

"Have you ever been? Are you experienced? Have you ever been to electric lady land? Did you drink from the fountain? Did you bask in her molten core? Did she call your name and guide her to her peak? Did you feel her quake and tremble? Did you feel the need to restrain her? Did she unmask her loving fury? Did she frighten you? Did you question what it felt like to have someone inside you? To swallow life and incubate a world to come? Did you ask her how it felt to be God incarnate? To be the daughter of the moon bearing the sun?"

"This earth is our sanctuary, nothing more need be built"

"You have shown me a love that cannot be given or taken. Let us bask in the fullness of ourselves"

"She kissed as if she, alone, could forge the signature of the sun"

"O my friends, the greatest Americans have not been born yet. They are waiting patiently for the past to die"

"Throw away your map and swallow this cratered pill. Pull it from the sky and let it dissolve under your tongue. It is only a matter of time before we are timeless. Do you feel it yet? Wow. I can trace each shadow back to its origin. Can you feel it yet? Drink more water, take deeper breaths. Wow. Why have I been so afraid of love? So afraid of being vulnerable? So afraid of being open? It's like every mannerism and gesture was a lie, some sort of shield to protect me from the judgement of others. Oh my god. Turn the music up. Do you feel that bass line? It feels like a snake."

"Eve was just open and that's what scared that father/sun god. Ha! That's why they named her Eve. They were just afraid of the dark. Scared of their mother's own womb. Afraid of the unknown."

"Intelligence is intuitive: you needn't learn to love unless you've been taught to fear and hate"

Swoon to the Moon

2009-05-09T00:03:00.000-07:00

I stopped running to be captured

To you, moon

in full bloom tonight

Against purples grays blues

I get it now!

More humble than the sun

More mysterious than the wind

Yet words are not a path to your blessing!

I get it now...

You're tomorrow whispered in my ear

Your glow in my eyes

Inna dem sweet echo chamba!

2009-05-04T10:09:00.000-07:00

The Wailing Souls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7cMuFcjHBo&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtLjp0dRJH0&feature=related

My new blog site

2009-05-03T14:46:00.001-07:00

With the direction of the world economy, I am finding it more valuable than ever to find out what's really going down! I know that there are other people who feel the same way so I started this to share what I'm finding. It's a separate blog because I expect it to get a little mucky...also, I understand that life will go on, so I make it an effort to keep these issues a safe distance from my personal life. Like John Lennon said, "all I want is the truth!"

Beauty in Differences

2009-04-25T20:33:00.000-07:00

Two things usually happen when you meet someone who is very different than you. Your differences keep you polarized or they can help you reach a higher level of empathy, knowledge and interest. Usually for me, it's been the ladder.

Today was a good example of that. I went to lay down guitar over some beats from a producer I met in the streets. He's very talented and has produced tracks for some artists big in the bay rap scene. We made some music happen which was nice, but nicer was the meeting of minds. An understanding, positive spirit that defies skin color, culture, etc. And when it defies these things, it only reinforces it's own strength...

I hold these encounters dear and hope to have a slew of them in Europe!

"The world is just a small town, we all know how people like to get down." -Slug

Too Much of Nothing

2009-04-24T14:34:00.000-07:00

"Now, too much of nothing
Can make a man feel ill at ease.
One man's temper might rise
While another man's temper might freeze.
In the day of confession
We cannot mock a soul.
Oh, when there's too much of nothing,
No one has control.

Too much of nothing
Can make a man abuse a king.
He can walk the streets and boast like most
But he wouldn't know a thing.
Now, it's all been done before,
It's all been written in the book,
But when there's too much of nothing,
Nobody should look.

Too much of nothing
Can turn a man into a liar,
It can cause one man to sleep on nails
And another man to eat fire.
Ev'rybody's doin' somethin',
I heard it in a dream,
But when there's too much of nothing,
It just makes a fella mean."

-Bob Dylan

John Lennon quote

2009-04-21T10:08:00.000-07:00

When asked about the people who tried to deport him out of America: "I don't worry about them because time wounds all heels."

Ahahaha. John Lennon = Funniest Beatle.

Benjamin Zander on success

2009-04-12T16:54:00.000-07:00

"I have a definition of success. For me it's very simple. It's not about wealth and fame and power, it's about how many shiny eyes I have around me."

This is worth 20 minutes of your time, trust me: www.ted.com/index.php/talks/benjamin_zander_on_music_and_passion.html

San Francisco

2009-04-10T15:45:00.000-07:00

McDonald's and murals. People walking briskly, head down, mp3 device in use. Another people crowded together dark and soil, day laborers. The buildings block the sky and if death struck the sidewalk I'd be suprised if someone was suprised.

Jeff Dunham fans display arrogance/ignorance. I'm not suprised.

2009-04-07T22:20:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know this comedian, he is a ventriloquist who has a bunch of puppets that he does stand up shows with. Personally, I don't think he's funny but he's very popular (type in a single "j" in youtube and he comes up) He has an old man puppet. On Jeff's Xmas special, he says, "Happy Holidays." Old man puppet says, "It's not Happy Holidays, it's Merry Christmas!" The audience goes into cheers and applause, louder than the rest of the whole show. Dunham: "You know there are other belief systems other than yours." Old Man: "Yeah, but they're wrong!" Audience cheers again.

This was recorded in late 2008...this is where we're at culturally, folks. [Sigh]

She inspiringly releases her serpent

2009-04-07T09:25:00.001-07:00

by showing nothing but her beauty

before flying away

into her own sky

So it seems

2009-04-06T13:05:00.000-07:00

that those who cower in their worship in God

cower from themselves

and those that find strength in their worship in God

find strength from themselves

because whether you are cowering or finding strength

the relationship is the same

whether you are living at peace

with this connection in God

or fighting against it

Rumi

2009-04-02T21:10:00.000-07:00

Listen, O drop, give yourself up without regret,

and in exchange gain the Ocean.

Listen, O drop, bestow upon yourself this honor,

and in the arms of the Sea be secure.

Who indeed should be so fortunate?

An Ocean wooing a drop!

In God's name, in God's name, sell and buy at once!

Give a drop, and take this sea of pearls

Etch-A-Sketch

2009-03-31T11:04:00.000-07:00

I need to shake a few women out of my head. Both very nice but not right for me.

Back to this: "The most empowering thing you can realize is that nobody is coming to save you." -Unknown

Untitled

2009-03-30T14:02:00.000-07:00

Let's not sleep in the t.v.

like caged dogs

petting one another

Let's roam the green and blue

like panting wolves

running side by side

A place that occupies no space

2009-03-30T13:08:00.000-07:00

"We know a place where no planes go

We know a place where no ships go

No cars go

Where we know

We know a place no spaceships go

We know a place no subs go

Where we know"

- The Arcade Fire

"When the whole world lets you down

And there's nowhere for you to turn

Because all of your best friends let you down

Then you try to accumulate

But the world is full of hate

So all of your best thoughts just drift through space

I know a place where we can carry on

We can carry on, We can carry on"

- Bob Marley

I think that both of these songs refer to the same "place." Both songs clarify that it is not a place on this world. Also, both leave the place undefined. I think that they are talking about a state of mind unique to each individual where they can find peace that no one and no where else can give them...I have a place of my own and couldn't see myself without it.

Oyster Bay

2009-03-25T18:15:00.000-07:00

I went on a bike ride today to Oyster Bay. I laid in the grass and heard the birds. On the way back I witnessed young love and also shared smiles with some people. The simple pleasures...

The band covered our first Beatles song today

2009-03-24T21:28:00.001-07:00

It's about time! It's really fun screaming "don't let me down" like John Lennon did...

Amazing Somali Pen Pal!

2009-03-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

Ever since I've found out about Somalia's situation from K'naan, I've been interested in it. He talks about a nation of proud, peaceful poets that he knew as a child, and how it all flipped with horrible murder, rape, war, etc. out of nowhere and had to flee the country. For a better idea, you can stream both of his albums on myspace. Because I can't trust our media, I decided to find a pen pal. I became K'naan's myspace friend and found this gorgeous girl that was also on his friends list. Here's our first letters:

"How are things in Somalia these days? Is there peace in the air...or maybe coming soon?

What is life like for you? What do you do for work? Fun? Thanks for accepting my friend request. You are very beautiful!

Blessings,

Jeremy"

"well your welcome, and your good looking yourself and am not just saying that lol.

well life in Somalia is not so bad depending on where you are or how much money you got. Most places in Somalia is very hard to live in most cases. Really i don't know where to start but i will tell you about little of my past and little of what i know now. there is starvation, killings/rape and many other tragedies. For you to know or to even imagine i would maybe tell you to maybe fallow the Somali news and look for photos there. Now i am Somalian but have not been there for the past 11 years. my family left there when i was a child cause of the war broke out. my family were some what rich at that moment cause of my dad had a good job and my mom was a stay home mom. when the war broke out my family went to Ethiopia where my father was arrested cause of him being in the Somali military (Somalia and Ethiopia are not the best neighbors) he was gone for i think about 4 years and then was back with us in a little city called sagag. my family lived there for about 7 years out of my uncles home (that's where we were stayiing at because our houses got shot up and we couldn't even go back there because it was too dangerous. So me and my brother were come out and we herd several of gun shot and before we even tried to turn bak there came this man that was running and carrying another man was bleeding and for me that was the worst i ever seen with my eyes but i have other experiences of this nature. Now at this moment me and 5 of my siblings are on our way to the u.s. my father and younger brothers and sister are still there and its very hard because i dont know if and when one or all of my family members are going to get killed hurt. i have lost uncles, aunts, cousings and many other people like my neighbor just 8 months ago my cousin was shot 8 times and stabbed many times while he was praying at one of the mosques by the Ethiopian troops that were there at the moment and a week later my dad and my brother got shot at while they were getting food and blankets from our house.

that's just a little touch up on my country and one things that happened to me. Now Somalia has a new president that was liked at first but now many people are second guessing themselves. The one before him was actually thrown out office and is not allowed to go to most of the other African countries because this guy is crazy i mean he worse then Bush now imagine that. there was a little fighting going on last time i talk to my father but he said it was better. i am actually going to call me father after i stop writing you and see how things are. I have plans to go back there sometime this year.

i hope this does not bored you but answered our questions. Feel free to ask whatever you like and i would be more then happy to answer.

Peace be with you!"

Kiss de Gurl!

2009-03-23T11:43:00.000-07:00

Seeing old friends is so good for me, especially Will. He always brings out a lively, jovial side of me that I don't think I'll find anywhere else.

The ceremony was very low key being that they only had about 3 weeks to plan it. Which is good because I don't think many people like the stuffiness of a traditional wedding. It was great to see some old friends and [nearly] family that I haven't seen in a while and make some new acquaintances. The spot I was standing for the ceremony was great; I could see the excitement on Stephanie's face and all the weeping family members.

The best man speech wasn't so bad! I made people laugh and hopefully touched some hearts :P. It's good to be home being I only slept about 6 hours all weekend. But at the same time, I saw some wonderful acts of love and solidarity and it's hard to come back to my lackluster scene. It felt like a sign to get up and do something...

The Art of Walking

2009-03-20T17:47:00.000-07:00

I went to see a youth travel agency (STAtravel.com) today and booked my flights for Europe! I talked to a more than helpful woman, more like an angel, with plenty of experience in traveling and saving money for people like me. It was a flat rate of $30 for all the logistical planning she's doing for me. I came in with a wish list of countries (11 total) I wanted to go to and she said my whole trip is doable on my budget! With the combination of the Eurail pass and flights, I'll be staying in hostels in England, Ireland, France, Italy, The Netherlands, Greece, Switzerland, Czech Republic, Spain, Germany, and Austria over the course of about 6 weeks.

Walking is an art; it really is. Well, the way I look at it. You could just walk for practical purposes alone, I guess. But there's a world you are interacting with as you travel. I've seen people that walk in a way that draws you in, makes you want to go with them. That's the kind of walking I want to do in Europe.

My thoughts are being cut short, leaving to my friend Will's wedding. Best Man speech time!

Bay Art Yards

2009-03-18T15:14:00.000-07:00

The Mountainous Pile of Beer Bottles

2009-03-17T15:22:00.000-07:00

...created from my band weighed 132 lbs.

I took in all kinds of recycling today and earned a whopping $75 for my trip. It's really all I've been thinking about it. However, I try not to talk about it much...for one, no one wants to hear me jabber on about my grand vision for an excursion, which will probably happen in June or July. And two, I'll probably be updating this blog from location when it happens...but just know...I'm so stoked.

Europe

2009-03-14T12:20:00.000-07:00

is my new destination. Thanks to Joe for the words of encouragement....

Democratic Convention Update

2009-03-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

If you aren't one of the people I informed about this, here's the situation, abridged: My friend Vernon went to the Democratic Convention in October last year to peacefully protest. It turned out to be an unbelievable, horrible scene. Police with brass knuckles with spikes arrested several protestors and charged them with multiple felonies! While Vernon was in jail, he saw a guy ask for more food, only to get pepper sprayed and a bag over his head...which he threw up in.

Yeah, I know, right? UC Santa Cruz funded the protestors charged and the UN disapproved of the inhumane tactics used.

But the good news is, after having to move to Minneapolis in October for the court cases, my friend Vernon is now a free man!

I think the biggest injustice is that the media wasn't alerted of this at all! Too bad someone didn't have a cell phone camera like on New Year's Eve...

A story about why I sometimes cannot respect my elders:

2009-03-10T13:05:00.000-07:00

I had to go to an EDD workshop today, to continue collecting my unemployment. We had to bring a log of our efforts to find work and learn about available resources. It was a really hopeless scene: The instructor was a recent transfer and didn't really know what she was doing. Most of the attendees were much older than me and many seemed timid and/or depressed.

I tried to bring a bit of light to the group...it needed it...and a woman probably in her 60's sitting next to me began talking to me quietly during the presentation. I was friendly, but no more than necessary. She asked me my last job was; I answered and felt like I should ask her. She was an accountant. Soon, she complained about events of the class much. I told her something like, "the world is too crazy for anyone to handle right now, and that's ok."

Just as we were getting out, she brought my attention to a man, probably in my age bracket, with large gauges in his ears and a general hardcore look. "He is such a loser," she said. He had spoken once the whole class and her mind was made up. Maybe, she didn't even need to hear him, just look at him. I could have said, "it's hard to talk about who's a loser when you, yourself, have a group of the unemployed as your peers." I should have just said, "judge not, yest ye be judged." I can imagine the shock she would show; someone with my youth saying such a statement with such conviction.

But I didn't say anything. Hopefully, my abrupt end to our converstation alluded to the fact that I lost all respect for her.

In Brighter News: Check out Fela Kuti. HOLY MOLY. Take Miles Davis style jazz, James Brown style funk guitar, and African drums. The best music for a dance party in your bedroom. Try starting with the song "Zombie."

Muir Woods

2009-03-08T19:23:00.001-07:00

This is Amala:

2009-03-05T20:32:00.001-08:00

We met at Guitar Center today and I fell in love as soon as I played her. Every strum just sounds like the heavens. This acoustic has been a long time coming and now that it's here, I feel humbled by it...in a good way. Thinking of becoming a street performer for a while...

Quit the reggae band...

2009-02-26T16:01:00.000-08:00

Yeah, pretty lame, huh? No car=no way out to Daly City. Just got off the phone with the drummer. Sitting here beside myself a bit. Sigh...

I'm hoping to fix up my brother's car with the tax returns then maybe, I'll join up with them again then, but most likely I'll head North or elsewhere on one of these adventures that I need to go on, that I keep nagging at myself to embark on.

As it was...so it shall be...

2009-02-26T07:42:00.000-08:00

When the green cracks through the concrete sheets and makes it's way towards the undivided sky, the sleeping God beneath us...the wind as the speaking, the rivers as the singing, the fire as the dancing. Until Mystery is a creeping giant, swaying the tops of it's trees, trodding through it's beaches, weaving through it's ocean, no longer divided and dispersed amongst itself.

Ghostly pictures of Julian Marley

2009-02-25T09:25:00.000-08:00

I just had one of the best music making moments of my life.

2009-02-24T21:03:00.000-08:00

Maybe this is one of those "you had to be there" moments, but it was great...

I was playing this solo for "Little Wing" in the garage with my cover band today, and I happened to look up at Brian during a part of my solo, who has heard me play this song many times now. He had his eyes closed calmly and went from a look of concentration to this awesome, teethy, blissed-out, smile from these notes I improvised. This is nothing like getting compliments after playing. Actually watching myself make positive changes in a person's mood by music. If I can see more of it then, it'll be a blessing.

One last K'naan quote:

2009-02-22T13:55:00.000-08:00

A true artist's discontent reveals itself in the geniune compassion of his or her art.

K'naan quotes:

2009-02-21T21:01:00.000-08:00

"Baby girl, lemme get all up in your earlobe,

and if you shut me down you can kill my ego

which is my enemy, makes you my amigo

either way, you and I are button and needle."

"Killing me softly, Lauryn Hill Kevorkian."

Streaming the whole album on Myspace: recommended.

Raggamuffins '09

2009-02-21T11:41:00.000-08:00

Having just read an awesome Bob Marley biography, there were few places I'd rather be than this concert last night! It was as close to Bob as I may ever get.

K'naan was the first act I caught and he just had this gleam of love in his eye. He's a musician from Africa and I saw the movie Blood Diamond (which is awesome if you haven't seen it) the night before. It is such a powerful, powerful topic; Africa continually being raped into crisis for it's natural resources for someone else's gain. And it's easy to forget the situation when you don't come in contact with it.

Next was Julian Marley, who was awesome. Dreads long and bouncing, made it so every picture I tried to take looked like a spider ghost...hmmmm....

Following Julian was The King, The Upsetter, Lee "Scratch" Perry. If you don't know who he is, well, he's kind of a big deal to the history of reggae. One of the original producers in Kingston in the early 60's, his infamous recording sessions with the Wailers and others laid the template for reggae and dub music. His nickname Scratch came from his signature guitar sound, scratch-scratch...scratch-scratch...possibly the most used pattern in the music's history. He is an erratic spirit, known for burning down his studio, planting his painted records in the garden, etc. and he's in his 70's. I didn't know what to expect but I knew it was gonna be...unique.

He had an amazing amount of energy for his age and had lots of love for the audience. He was dressed like a hippie rasta, always changing hats that looked like they'd been sought out for their wackiness. Everything was dubbed out, smokey and mysterious. When he played his version of "Sun is Shining" that he recorded with Bob in the hey-day, I was stoked!

Stephen Marley closed the night with an acoustic set of original material and Bob covers. The audience was singing along, so Stephen backed off the vocals and egged the crowd on. The crowd got louder, singing at the top of their lungs and in key, "No Woman, No Cry," Stephen smiling, very impressed with the choir. It was such an overwhelming moment, the love, the strength, the joy, the unity, I started crying.

"Some mon just deal wit' information. An' some mon, him deal wit' the concept of truth. An' den some mon deal wit' magic. Information flow aroun' ya an' truth flow right at ya. But magic, it flow t'rough ya." -Nernelly, A Jamaican "Bush Doctor"

There is no shame

2009-02-20T13:27:00.001-08:00

in leading a humble life

Wake up and smell the cafe

2009-02-17T17:23:00.000-08:00

I walked down to the Mon Cafe today for a cup and was offered a limited-hours position. This stems from a rainy day trip to the cafe about a week ago when the dire situation of the shop's finances was discussed. Wanting to stamp out any possibility of my local source of inspiration disappearing and also feeling sorry for it's helpless, frial, Japanese owner, I offered my services, free of charge. Munami, the aforementioned owner wouldn't stand for this and will be paying me under the table, which is nice.

Today, I learned how to pull shots, make crema and even made roasted bell pepper soup. After all the time I've spent there, it's surreal being on the other side of the counter, being taught the tricks of the Mon Cafe trade. I have much respect for the cafe workers dealing with my small talk because today I understood how hard it is to remain seemingly engaged when you have something to do. On the other hand, much of the conversation was indeed pleasant in one way or another. After all, I'm friends with at least 60% of the clients. Extra income+slight boost in sense of purpose = hurrah

blessed by a current situation,

2009-02-15T13:17:00.000-08:00

in return, I'll give my creation

Freedom for Free!

2009-02-12T22:14:00.000-08:00

As if the anti-car blog I posted yesterday had a mysterious force behind it, a day later and my car is off my back! Brother, newly promoted to head manager for a Kinko's, needs a reliable ride. I will give him the payment, and cancel my insurance.

What a great day!

Life is before me...let the Unemployment pay roll!

Time to get a beater-mobile and take to the road, USA here I come.

Freedom of Price

2009-02-12T10:41:00.000-08:00

"Hell is not a place you go if you're not a Christian, it's the failure of your life's greatest ambition." -Immortal Technique

Another free day, another clean slate...being unemployed is hard to describe...friends coming and going....stupid car...just how much would losing my car ruin my credit? Enough to keep me from purchasing a house in the future? And who do I even ask such a question to? Hmmm. Re-inspired by Rachell to travel again and I don't think I can right now. Was gonna re-read The Alchemist soon...shouldn't now. Best years of my life here...stupid car...Re-inspired by Jim who drove all the way to the east coast and back, making friends along the way. Hawaii...Seattle..Europe..New Mexico...South America...New York...I envision myself re-invented on the road...backpack and a knowing smile, driving some beater, probably unshaven...who knows...Meeting people as the me I am now, not the me I have been...

Don't get me wrong, I'm cool. I don't think about this one much, I'm usually focused on music these days. But I do regret buying that car...

Hiking Mt. Wanda

2009-02-01T12:30:00.000-08:00

Found in Martinez, Mt. Wanda is the former estate of John Muir and a nice place to hike. My brother and I went yesterday and I brought my camera. I took all the pictures accept the shot of me and the ones of the butterfly; those were my bro. The butterfly was patient with the photo taking process. It let the camera get about a baseball bat's length away and even flew back to the same spot after getting into a tussle with what seemed to be a bee. Seeing my brother, big as he is make such graceful poses and movements to capture those pictures was a sight to behold.

YES!

2009-01-30T09:50:00.000-08:00

Well, it looks like I found that reggae band I was looking for...!

It was a hell of a drive; commute hours out to Daly City. I grabbed my guitar and walked into a building with small studios everywhere, hearing all kinds of music from all directions. I found the room I was looking for and walked in. The band was smoking spliffs and listening to reggae. I introduced myself briefly and before I knew it, we were playing a song and I was learning the changes on the fly. They weren't much for introductions. I was nervous but tried to remain calm.

Three of them are black (drums, singer, guitar) which makes for an unstoppable groove. The bass player is a white dude from Canada. They sound freakin' awesome! I had to stop playing and just smile and listen... The singer had a great reggae voice and persona. He was confident and mysterious, sparking a new spliff to smoke for every song we did. I thought he was from Jamaica. I asked after he left and they looked at each other and said "...Kentucky." Haha

After a couple songs, they all seemed pretty impressed by me, which blew my mind. The other guitarist said I play from the gut, which is something I strive for. It's hard to think of two guitar parts sometimes and even harder for reggae so this will require my best efforts. But the fact that they want me back next week is indeed an honor.

The drummer and guitarist invited me to the ladder's house for beer and herb and I figured this was a good opportunity to get to know them. It was a bit odd, being that I was younger than their oldest children, but music is such a strong common bond. I soon learned that these guys were really no joke. Playing in bands since they were children of all different types, they were seasoned vets. They were really nice and switched from role of peer to mentor. depending on the tide of conversation. We listened to some old funk and some of the guitarists other projects before I took off.

There's nothing better than taking a chance on something new and having it work out ideally.

Timothy White on Bob Marley:

2009-01-29T12:49:00.000-08:00

For a man like Bob Marley, life and Jah were one and the same. Marley saw Jah as being the gift of existence; that is, he believed that he, Bob Marley, was in some way eternal, and that he would never be duplicated. He believed that the singularity of every man and woman is Jah's gift. What we struggle to make of it is our sole gift to Jah. He believed the process of that struggle becomes, in time, the truth.

Historically certain figures sometimes emerge from stagnant, despairing and/or disintegrating cultures to reinterpret old symbols and beliefs and invest them with new meaning. An individual's decision to play such a role may be purely unconscious, but it can sometimes evolve into an acute awareness that he may indeed have the gift/burden of prophecy. This realization may be followed by the public declaration on the part of such a person that he is merely an instrument of a new source of knowledge, a new direction and a new order.

For Jamaicans, and ultimately for much of the Third World, Bob Marley was such a messianic figure. He maintained that spectral emissaries invaded his sleep to enlist him as a seer. He was frightened by the responsibility, he said, but he had decided to assume it. "By and by," he explained, "Jah show every mon him hand, and Jah has shown I mine."

A man who looked like a skinny lion, moved like a spider and lived like a ghost, Bob Marley died trying to control the duppies [ghosts] within himself.

Action Praise

2009-01-22T12:27:00.000-08:00

Although hard to find at times in replies

Try an keep the love in my eyes, highest of highs

Even though some don't catch my ways

Try an bring my heart and it's strengthening praise

Made communion with the spirit that birthed me

Because I know that spirit personally, yes, I'm certain it's me

I know what feels wrong, I feel what knows right

I grow a new song, Ideal that glows bright

If a heart sings along, great deal of delight

For both our freedoms, walk through the night

Inauguration

2009-01-20T11:37:00.000-08:00

Regardless of the policy changes to come, the energy that Obama is bringing us is refreshing, empowering and loving. It's an energy that will cause us to believe more in ourselves, each other and our country. The bush administration, all policy mistakes aside, bread a horrible feeling that can't be described, but slowly seeped into us over the many years.

It is a privilege to get laid off yesterday, and have this new start this morning, along with my country. Into a time where, hopefully, we can regain a sense of community, personal strength and responsibility.

May we all seize this opportunity for a better world.

Got laid off today

2009-01-19T11:12:00.000-08:00

which forced me to cancel my blind date with that cute girl from the iphone application to the nice Vietnamese restaurant.

Double bummer.

But, it's probably worth it for whatever experience lies ahead of me now.

Looking for reggae drummer, bassist, vocalist, horns, etc.

2009-01-14T14:29:00.001-08:00

I have fun in my cover band now but I feel I should be doing what I really want to do and that's play reggae/roots/dub etc. I've been posting ads everywhere I can think of and here is no different. So please, if you know anyone who may fit the description please let me know so I can begin to spread the love of the music.

"Hi"

2009-01-13T09:06:00.000-08:00

I fell in love, right then and there
With her earth-urban style and Lauryn Hill hair
I put my best foot forward and I said "hello"
I got one back, with a voice sweet and low
Overwhelmed with pleasure, no words to say
I had a choice but I let her walk away
So I'll keep my back straight and stay on guard
Because dealing with such beauty is honestly quite hard

Jesus Christ it's a beautiful day

2009-01-12T14:10:00.000-08:00

And I have insight enough to enjoy the hell out of it for all it is.
A simple blessing, it is.
Think I'm gonna go walk around Lake Merritt with some good friends.
Hope you folks reading this are well.
And for those looking for strength today,
slow down your breathing and look at the sky.
It's ok.

"I got nothing to do today but smile."

BART shooting

2009-01-09T19:35:00.000-08:00

I'm writing about this because it's still heavy on my mind after seeing it days ago. The actual footage was very disturbing, but thank god for it. Let the people see. Here are some things you might not know about the incident: 1.The fellow murdered was known by a friend of mine. She said he was super nice and a family man. 2.Racial slurs were used by officers against the people they were subduing. I did a lot of searching on this case, to try to see why the accused hasn't yet been prosecuted, and I saw this racism fact on but one report, as a brief mentioning. I think that these officers using racial slurs in the bay area deserves it's own new coverage. Abuse of power makes me sick. Whether it's a spiritual leader, an officer, a politician, etc. But that is just a childish and cheap example of it.

There is no way that the bastard thought it was a stun gun. With a close eye on the footage, you can see the coward remove the safety. Heartless, boy scout, toy soldier, devil, prick. Anyways, die, pig, die and all....

On a much lighter note: Derek Trucks is probably the best guitarist of our generation. You just have to see him. Check youtube for some slide guitar footage!!

Positive Vibrations

2009-01-06T14:22:00.000-08:00

One lesson that will do me much good to remember is this: Energy is traveling through everything we do to interact...our movements, facial expressions, tones of voice, etc. Society does not teach us that this is important, but I believe it is the most important thing of all. Although, of course, the actual physical acts we engange in are necessary, they are nothing without the energy that put it there.

Or to sum it up in a simpler fashion: "It's not what you do, but how you do it. It's not what you say, but how you say it." -Black Uhuru

Example: Sex is the act that put us here, but that wouldn't have ever come to be without the energy your mother and father put into each other's relationship.

Find some of that positive energy, and pick it up and run with it. Spread it like a whirlwind around you, whenever you can. It is peaceful, strong and happy. And it's contagious...

This hurts:

2008-12-30T12:03:00.000-08:00

"Lonely, little love dog that no one knows the name of

I know why you cry out, desperate and devout

Timid little teether, your eyes set on the ether

Your moon in Bella Luna and howling hallelujah

Nameless you above me, come lay me low and love me

This lonely, little love dog that no one knows the name of

Curse me out in free verse and wrap me up and reverse this

Patience is a virtue until it's silence burns you

And something slow has started in me

As shameless as an ocean and mirrored in devotion

Something slow has sparked up in me

As dog cries for a master and sparks are whirling faster

Lonely, little love dog that no one knows the ways of

Where the land is low is where the bones will show through

Lonely, little love dog that no one knows the days of

Where the land is low is where the water flows to and holds you"

-TV on the Radio

The Chloey Experiment

2008-12-27T12:10:00.000-08:00

I realized the other day that of all the times I've pet my dog, Chloey, she's never walked away. It's always been me to stop. So I wanted to see if she would get tired of being petted. I started the clock. I ensued a non-stop dog petting session. She sat there enjoying it. Pretty soon, she was leaning on the side of the couch for added support. Somewhere around 25 minutes, she collapsed to the floor with a groan. I hit the 30 minute marker and called it; my arms were fatigued. And after she laid down, she was in for the long haul. Dogs are really something.

Girls, girls, girls

2008-12-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

I love them. I'm back in the game. Don't be suprised if you see me with a different girl each night. I'm no man whore nor do I have a problem with attention. I just love girls. Most of them. Every smile I extract from a girl's face is a tiny victory.

1 week of freedom

2008-12-20T11:29:00.000-08:00

Oh, how I am grateful....free time the likes of which I haven't seen in a long time.

"If you can't see the stars, you've probably gone too far." - TV on the Radio

A Few of my Blessings

2008-12-19T15:39:00.000-08:00

I have woken up to love

A pair of sparkling

sleepy

eyes

And it lasted

all day long

I have woken up to nature

And then saw, felt, heard and smelt it

all around me

all day long

I have woken up to loving friends and family

With whom I've shared so much

so much that it lasted

all day long

I've woken up to adventures

That gave new experience

And these beautiful days

Are all I've ever needed

Ziggy Marley=great

2008-12-17T13:50:00.000-08:00

there' s a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind
there's a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind
don't be blind

said you im living in my fantasy
but is you who is blinded to reality
the material world means so much to you
you just can't get what im telling you

there's a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind
there's a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind
don't be blind

cause in a town called sorrow there was joy
yes and there i met painless tear
freed he expressed emotions that egos fear
my life is full of colors yeah my mind is clear

there's a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind
there's a rainbow in the sky all the tmie don't be blind
don't be blind

found i mercy in every sunrise
i am born again from the womb of the night
all i have i have left behind
minds eye eyes eye a light will shine

I am not "desperate"...

2008-12-17T07:10:00.000-08:00

I don't feel sorry for myself being single, not when Desperate Housewives is the most watched show on the women's network. It's not me, it's everyone else... :) I do, however, believe in needles in the hay.

An exaggerated yet honest account of my work xmas pot luck

2008-12-16T13:19:00.000-08:00

Employees who took food to their desks that were too honest to join the Great White feeding frenzy were noted as having poor christmas spirits. Inside the conference room, the sharks outsmarted each other in such categories as where to place the food items and who had the most painstaking recipe. Nervous kissups let fake laughs ring out long after the length that any dignified man should laugh at something that wasn't funny at all. One giant production of a suburban shit-pie...

I wish I liked the people I worked with more.

When the winter comes in dark and heavy,

2008-12-08T07:24:00.000-08:00

when it's beating down your door with anxiety, regrets, or whatever that dark cloud holds for you...remember that I'm still here. We all are. And we can stand on the other side stronger then before.

If your soul feels ill, call me.

Drinking black coffee of death as I write

2008-12-04T11:05:00.000-08:00

...the stuff thats been sitting on the burner since early morning at my work, slowly simmering away, darker and darker and darker it gets. I need it today; I went to a bar last night with my friend Vikki and had a few. It felt nice putting my new smile to use. There was this guy next to us at the bar who was drinking by himself, mysteriously. This went on for maybe a half hour and when Vikki went to the bathroom, I opened up to him. He lit up all of a sudden and started revealing himself to me.
Air traffic controller who oversaw a plane on the radar yesterday fall thousands of feet before it regained control. Even though it wasn't his fault, it stressed him out enough to throw a couple back. Plus, he seems to be going through a divorce with a couple of kids. He used to smoke herb but now he works for the government so I can't and he misses it. If I was in his shoes, I might be drinking alone at a bar, too.
I guess the point of the story is that most people are strange when you're a stranger, but also, most people will reveal a friendliness that may restore your faith in the human spirit. But someone has to open up first...

In love with life

2008-12-03T15:07:00.000-08:00

Yes, touching everyone with love as much as I can. Pulling love out of nowhere. Ready to see everything. Learn new philosophies. Go on adventures. Be all I can be. I AM MAKING MAGIC NOW. What a world

Meeting Jackie Greene's Mom

2008-12-01T00:02:00.000-08:00

Went to see Jackie Greene tonight up by Vacaville with my brother and his dad. There weren't many people. It was all folding chair seating and someone wanted to save four seats in front of ours and left us with the task of keeping guard. I jokingly said "I'll just tell them that it's for Jackie Greene's mom." The guy said "That's a good one," and walked away.

No one took the seats for a while and we saw the guy in a seat closer up. We almost gave them away, doubting anyone was coming. But as you can guess from the title of this here piece of literature, it was indeed saved for Jackie's mom! I wasn't quite sure at first; my leads were that what appeared to be Jackie's little twin hugged her and that she had that same kinda sad puppy look in her eyes as the one in Mr Greene's. I was almost certain by the time he started and she proudly bobbed her head to every song, like it was just one long nod of satisfaction.

I mustered up the courage: "So me and my brother here have a bet.." etc etc...I told her that her son was a huge inspiration to me. She asked what me and my brother's names were and shook our hand and gave us the pleasure for a few moments. Nice nice lady...asked if we were have a good time. Of course we were, he's a goddamn madman whirlwind of talent. I wanted to tell her that her son's songs inspire on crappy days and ask if he annoyed her til the morning with endless playing, but I didn't. I wanted to leave her with a good as an impression as she left me so I chose not to bother her.

The power of a good mother, eh?

A healthy connection or a clean break

2008-11-30T14:13:00.000-08:00

would be ideal. But you decided to put us on life support. Arrrg...something tells me I'd be doing much better on my own. I'll give it just a little more time...

Best Teacher

2008-11-26T18:30:00.000-08:00

Friends advice can be great sometimes. Other times, no one knows the situation better than you and other people's narrow view of the situation will only confuse your figuring. And company can be great when you're bummed out sometimes but other times, you need to be alone to handle yourself. I seem to do best when I don't get swept away in what other people are exuding.

"Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong." -Winston Churchill

(What could be) A Simple Goodbye

2008-11-22T16:42:00.000-08:00

It's not a question

Of who ruined it

It is an answer:

This shoe doesn't fit

An attempt to explain what made Sublime so great

2008-11-21T16:09:00.000-08:00

When I put on Sublime, it's because I want that "Sublime" mood. It's care-free and entirely compassionate at once. It has that serious sound of revolution at times and sometimes it was about "being drunk by noon (but that's ok.)" They blended everything the better parts of California are about tastefully.

Often, when white artists try to venture into black musical territory they sounded corny or contrived. When Sublime did it, it felt right. There could be a line about shooting a gat or a phrase with a Jamaican accent and you wouldn't question it. This probably has to do with them growing up in Long Beach, unafraid of cholos, thugs or what have you. They were just one of the boys. There was no racial divide.

And, of course, there is something about Bradley's voice. So direct and heartfelt. It seems he didn't have to jump to the notes he has singing, but rather they were just there, waiting to be sung. I love looking at pictures of him singing because sometimes you can see that emotion all over his face and in his body.

Bud and Eric were an awesome rhythm section that flowed naturally and never sounded boring.

There is music that I never get tired of, but not much. Sublime is one of the few, along with The Beatles.

Sublime reminds me of hopping on a skateboard and just going for it. Going to a party and having a hell of a good time. Letting my heart run free without being afraid of where it may go.

All day

2008-11-21T15:34:00.000-08:00

I've been smiling really big like one of those really dark happy African guys. Don't know why. Guess I don't need a reason

I would love to

2008-11-18T09:32:00.000-08:00

Eat some fungus in Golden Gate Park. You know, get reaquainted with the essence. I'm feeling too goddamn TAME...

To Our Wandering Spirits:

2008-11-13T14:20:00.000-08:00

Wishing I

Could expedite my exhibitions

Missing my

Trip across this wish list

Eating from

The Withered hand that feeds

Depleting some

To fulfill basic needs

Dreams bring

A definition to color

Seems things

In distance bring allure

But I am

Grateful for my

Someday

"One day"s can be a

"Today"

Heart & Mind Walk Together (But Don't Hold Hands)

2008-11-11T16:44:00.000-08:00

I think I know just about who I am this time around

And that there's something I'll have

That'll keep me happy

Even alone

So why do I not breathe

When I'm not with this one

Goes against my way

But I'm afraid it's most true

Regression, Progression

I can't tell

But I can allow myself

to get carried around

in something I don't understand

I'll stand under

it's shade for now

The best gift I can receive on my birthday:

2008-11-06T10:00:00.000-08:00

A reminder that the years are flying...

The Dawn!

2008-11-04T22:11:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try to explain the significance...the huge significance...of how I feel tonight. Laying with my love, watching the best party Chicago has ever seen. Seeing all of these hopeful people finally feeling redemption. I feel like I don't have to give up on a future, that the world may not be doomed after all. With this beautiful woman who is crazy about me and with this beautiful event, I am feeling like a man. A provider. One with pride. Not some animal forced into hedonism by a hopeless world. I'm dusting off the dreams of my future. I'm awake. And I got mad love to give...

<3

2008-11-04T09:41:00.000-08:00

"Feel the flow of the fluid as I swim through it to free my soul
Push shoved the came without the glove numbed the pain
The magic from up above what it does for the brain
Make the love, paint the picture, write the song
Make the love, paint the picture, write the song
Til the break of dawn"
-Atmosphere

Everything is happening so quickly. Dunno whether to speed up or slow down. I do know...that I'm enjoying the ride....

Dionysus on the Runway (Palo Alto bars)

2008-11-01T10:22:00.000-07:00

Tacking up their smiles in hopes of a mail-in rebate. Painting themselves and dangling themselves in front of the liars, swinging back and forth. Doubts whitewashed with a nod to the beat. That never-ending song. It's not everything else, it's you, dear lonely, lost dancer. In your head, it's you. Drink Sprite, Play Again. "Leave now," it said, "and don't come back unless you have less of your self."

I was scared by watching this group of girls do nothing but take pictures of themselves all night.

"It ain't in the marshmallow noises of the chocolate cake voices

That come knocking and tapping in Christmas wrapping

Saying ain't I pretty and ain't I cute and look at my skin

Look at my skin shine, look at my skin glow

Look at my skin laugh, look at my skin cry

When you can't even sense if they got any insides."

-Bob Dylan

Jeremy Says:

2008-10-29T07:42:00.000-07:00

If you are in a situation that would go great with marajuana and there is no pipe to be found and you just don't have enough for a joint, there is hope. The answer? An apple!

Just poke a hole in the top by the stem with a pencil and one on the side (all the way through if you want a carb). You can find them at 711's, let alone grocery stores, so they are pretty accessible. Some may makeshift a pipe from an aluminum can but who knows what kind of harmful chemicals into your lungs.

The apple: Smoke from it, eat it, enjoy.

You are a rock, you are an island

2008-10-27T14:45:00.000-07:00

If you choose to die alone
that's fine
If you think this makes you strong
that's fine
If your vase was already broken
that's fine
If it can't hold my red roses
that's fine
So long as it's fine with you

One of the keys to romance:

2008-10-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

Mystery, mystery, mystery. It's not bad...it's not good either. It's the way to keep your options open, as well as the busy imagination, which could conjure up things that may be bigger than a set in stone kind of world. Yes, mystery can leave a world of options at your fingertips.

Saying as much as you can with as little words as possible.

Votes for Obama switched to McCain

2008-10-23T15:09:00.001-07:00

Yes, indeed. I heard on the news this morning that the pre-polling stations were switching right in front of voters eyes. So I asked my friend who keeps up on the disgusting underbelly of this fiasco and he gave me this reply:

'WV Voting Machines Switch Votes from Obama to McCain- Early voting in the presidential election has already begun in many states, and problems are already emerging at the polls. In West Virginia, voters in at least two counties using touchscreen voting machines have claimed their votes were switched from Democrat to Republican. Six voters reported having this problem in Jackson and Putnam Counties. In both counties, Republicans are responsible for overseeing elections. One voter, a retired nurse named Shelba Ketchum, said, "I hit Obama, and it switched to McCain. I am really concerned about that. If McCain wins, there was something wrong with the machines.” Election officials blamed voters for not being more careful. Both counties use machines made by Election Systems & Software.'

"If McCain wins, there was something wrong with the machines." I can just imagine a sweet little old lady scruntching up her face and saying that. Hahaha.

We may be in for a helluva trip, my friends...

Giving kisses can be wonderful

2008-10-23T07:18:00.001-07:00

But receiving kisses is a little sweeter, is it not?

:)